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Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Sick, sad, little world.
Just recently someone that I grew up with in middle school and high school passed away from an overdose. He died September 23, 2011 and his birthday was only a few weeks after mine. He wasn't one of the smarter students, or even one of the "well-behaved" students but he was definitely the kindest and funniest that I met on my journey through middle school. I met him in 6th grade and he seemed to put a smile on my face everyday. Even though some days he would be a big troublemaker and hang out with the "wrong" crowd, in my eyes he seemed to be living his life how he wanted to.
I soon had a crush on him..
Even though we really just grew apart after that year, I always had a soft spot for him. The way his voice sounded, (because it had this rusty sort of sound to it) and he was always just a really nice guy. He was an excellent athlete. He excelled in so many sports and made so many friends.
I'm sure he loved his friends to death, but they were not the type of friends that would encourage him to do good in school, or take care of himself or any of that stuff so the environment that he grew up with was not so great.
Recently I found out that he went to rehab a little bit after graduating from high school and that made me sad.
I wondered what he was going through and who was the first one to offer him some sort of drug. Who started the horrible habits? How did he get into something so deadly? Was it still just the lousy environment he was in?
Was he living the lifestyle he wanted to?
When I found out through Facebook that he had passed, I quickly typed his name into Google to try and find out any information about him since I haven't heard about him in years. As soon as I finished typing his name, a mugshot from Florida popped up. Aggravated assault on a cop.
All of this information just buzzed around in my head for a couple days. I constantly wondered what his family must be going through, hoping that his friends and family would find the good things about him and not focus on the bad.
As I was going about my day, I kept thinking about how he can't continue on with his life, and make adult decisions like buying a car, paying for apartment rent, or even just being able to pick out a couch for his home. He can never do any of those things now.
I wonder what he thought about every night before he went to sleep. Was he happy with the way his life was? Was he struggling to just survive each and every day? No one really knows how he felt and unfortunately his life has ended.
A parent should never have to bury their child. It breaks my heart to have to hear about something like this. The fact that I knew him and made contact with him once before in my life, really made it hit home for me and I've broken down a few times. Even though I was not really friends with him, I feel hurt and damaged. A guy my age, his life is over, his story has ended abruptly and there is nothing that can be done except mourn the loss.
Rest In Peace Jeff Pancetti
6.23.91-9.23.11
You will not be forgotten.
http://www.facebook.com/always.remembered.never.forgotten
I soon had a crush on him..
Even though we really just grew apart after that year, I always had a soft spot for him. The way his voice sounded, (because it had this rusty sort of sound to it) and he was always just a really nice guy. He was an excellent athlete. He excelled in so many sports and made so many friends.
I'm sure he loved his friends to death, but they were not the type of friends that would encourage him to do good in school, or take care of himself or any of that stuff so the environment that he grew up with was not so great.
Recently I found out that he went to rehab a little bit after graduating from high school and that made me sad.
I wondered what he was going through and who was the first one to offer him some sort of drug. Who started the horrible habits? How did he get into something so deadly? Was it still just the lousy environment he was in?
Was he living the lifestyle he wanted to?
When I found out through Facebook that he had passed, I quickly typed his name into Google to try and find out any information about him since I haven't heard about him in years. As soon as I finished typing his name, a mugshot from Florida popped up. Aggravated assault on a cop.
All of this information just buzzed around in my head for a couple days. I constantly wondered what his family must be going through, hoping that his friends and family would find the good things about him and not focus on the bad.
As I was going about my day, I kept thinking about how he can't continue on with his life, and make adult decisions like buying a car, paying for apartment rent, or even just being able to pick out a couch for his home. He can never do any of those things now.
I wonder what he thought about every night before he went to sleep. Was he happy with the way his life was? Was he struggling to just survive each and every day? No one really knows how he felt and unfortunately his life has ended.
A parent should never have to bury their child. It breaks my heart to have to hear about something like this. The fact that I knew him and made contact with him once before in my life, really made it hit home for me and I've broken down a few times. Even though I was not really friends with him, I feel hurt and damaged. A guy my age, his life is over, his story has ended abruptly and there is nothing that can be done except mourn the loss.
Rest In Peace Jeff Pancetti
6.23.91-9.23.11
You will not be forgotten.
http://www.facebook.com/always.remembered.never.forgotten
Friday, September 16, 2011
Start of a new life...sort of.
So it's late. It's about 2am on a Thursday night and I just finished watching Limitless. Well, that was quite some time ago..
So as you can see, I haven't updated in a long time.
My life is on a different track now, and it's not completely terrible, but it could totally be better.
So, I graduated from High School. I graduated from Community College, and now all I have is an associates in Business. I am not transferring to a four year school for two reasons:
1. I don't want to continue with Business, and I have no real career in mind. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do with my life..
2. College is just not for me. Most of my friends are away at college and I feel like it would be nice to get away from home but that's not something I really want to do. The whole dorming with a stranger, eating crappy food everyday, not having the comfort of my own house and good homemade food?
No thank you.
It's just not for me. I knew that since the beginning. When my sister first went away to TCNJ the whole thing frightened me. Just the whole being away and stuff wasn't for me. Maybe something screwy happened in my past life that I'm paying for now, but lemme tell you, I wish it didn't bother me as much.
Well, I also wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life.
All in all, a lot is going on in my life that I'm unhappy about but only a couple things stay true and keep me happy and livin' life as much as I possibly can.
I have a guy that's been in my life for 2+ years now and he couldn't be any more perfect for me. He makes me laugh, (actually we make each other laugh a lot..but its mostly him making me laugh..), he likes to spend time with me, and he's not a tool. We may have our disagreements, but come on, if there weren't any disagreements, it wouldn't be reality. It would be a dream. So as you can see, he's pretty close to a dream. Thank god he's not.
Another really awesome and stable part of my life is my best friend. She's been close to me since kindergarten and it's been 15 years (holy toledo..) and counting. That number just sounds crazy. No wonder I don't remember a lot..
So I was planning on completely updating you on my life, but I think this will definitely have to be a, "To Be Continued" sort of thing, cuz I'm wipedd outt.
Until then,
Elle.
PS. So I've recently decided that I really like the nickname Elle (pronounced 'L') for Elizabeth. Is it weird to want to change it 20 years into it?
Twitter:
www.twitter.com/tangybabe
So as you can see, I haven't updated in a long time.
My life is on a different track now, and it's not completely terrible, but it could totally be better.
So, I graduated from High School. I graduated from Community College, and now all I have is an associates in Business. I am not transferring to a four year school for two reasons:
1. I don't want to continue with Business, and I have no real career in mind. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do with my life..
2. College is just not for me. Most of my friends are away at college and I feel like it would be nice to get away from home but that's not something I really want to do. The whole dorming with a stranger, eating crappy food everyday, not having the comfort of my own house and good homemade food?
No thank you.
It's just not for me. I knew that since the beginning. When my sister first went away to TCNJ the whole thing frightened me. Just the whole being away and stuff wasn't for me. Maybe something screwy happened in my past life that I'm paying for now, but lemme tell you, I wish it didn't bother me as much.
Well, I also wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life.
All in all, a lot is going on in my life that I'm unhappy about but only a couple things stay true and keep me happy and livin' life as much as I possibly can.
I have a guy that's been in my life for 2+ years now and he couldn't be any more perfect for me. He makes me laugh, (actually we make each other laugh a lot..but its mostly him making me laugh..), he likes to spend time with me, and he's not a tool. We may have our disagreements, but come on, if there weren't any disagreements, it wouldn't be reality. It would be a dream. So as you can see, he's pretty close to a dream. Thank god he's not.
Another really awesome and stable part of my life is my best friend. She's been close to me since kindergarten and it's been 15 years (holy toledo..) and counting. That number just sounds crazy. No wonder I don't remember a lot..
So I was planning on completely updating you on my life, but I think this will definitely have to be a, "To Be Continued" sort of thing, cuz I'm wipedd outt.
Until then,
Elle.
PS. So I've recently decided that I really like the nickname Elle (pronounced 'L') for Elizabeth. Is it weird to want to change it 20 years into it?
Twitter:
www.twitter.com/tangybabe
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