Just recently someone that I grew up with in middle school and high school passed away from an overdose. He died September 23, 2011 and his birthday was only a few weeks after mine. He wasn't one of the smarter students, or even one of the "well-behaved" students but he was definitely the kindest and funniest that I met on my journey through middle school. I met him in 6th grade and he seemed to put a smile on my face everyday. Even though some days he would be a big troublemaker and hang out with the "wrong" crowd, in my eyes he seemed to be living his life how he wanted to.
I soon had a crush on him..
Even though we really just grew apart after that year, I always had a soft spot for him. The way his voice sounded, (because it had this rusty sort of sound to it) and he was always just a really nice guy. He was an excellent athlete. He excelled in so many sports and made so many friends.
I'm sure he loved his friends to death, but they were not the type of friends that would encourage him to do good in school, or take care of himself or any of that stuff so the environment that he grew up with was not so great.
Recently I found out that he went to rehab a little bit after graduating from high school and that made me sad.
I wondered what he was going through and who was the first one to offer him some sort of drug. Who started the horrible habits? How did he get into something so deadly? Was it still just the lousy environment he was in?
Was he living the lifestyle he wanted to?
When I found out through Facebook that he had passed, I quickly typed his name into Google to try and find out any information about him since I haven't heard about him in years. As soon as I finished typing his name, a mugshot from Florida popped up. Aggravated assault on a cop.
All of this information just buzzed around in my head for a couple days. I constantly wondered what his family must be going through, hoping that his friends and family would find the good things about him and not focus on the bad.
As I was going about my day, I kept thinking about how he can't continue on with his life, and make adult decisions like buying a car, paying for apartment rent, or even just being able to pick out a couch for his home. He can never do any of those things now.
I wonder what he thought about every night before he went to sleep. Was he happy with the way his life was? Was he struggling to just survive each and every day? No one really knows how he felt and unfortunately his life has ended.
A parent should never have to bury their child. It breaks my heart to have to hear about something like this. The fact that I knew him and made contact with him once before in my life, really made it hit home for me and I've broken down a few times. Even though I was not really friends with him, I feel hurt and damaged. A guy my age, his life is over, his story has ended abruptly and there is nothing that can be done except mourn the loss.
Rest In Peace Jeff Pancetti
6.23.91-9.23.11
You will not be forgotten.
http://www.facebook.com/always.remembered.never.forgotten
